Does God Only Give Us What We Can Handle?

Given that we live in a fallen world, because of things like social media and the context of what I do for a living, I will regularly hear stories of people who are dealing with incredibly difficult situations. In short, they are facing the harshness of life and are having to experiencing incredible levels of suffering. How should we respond when that happens? What should we say to them? In reading the book of Job I know that I do not want to be like one of the Job’s friends and say things with great intentions but which are inaccurate, wrong, hurtful, and even harmful.

One expression I have heard used a number of times, and probably have said myself, is either stated positively, “God only gives you what you can handle,” or negatively, “God does not give you more than you can handle.” I am confident those words are offered with good intentions of seeking to offer comfort and encouragement. But there is a problem with those words, whether stated positively or negatively: those words are not exactly from the Bible, and they do not seem to ring true in our experience. As such, the good intentions fail to deliver the intended outcome. I do not believe it is accurate to say that God only gives us what we can handle.

So where do we come up with this idea? So where did this expression come from? The words probably come from a less than complete understanding of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which reads:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

I believe the words “not temped beyond your ability” may have been twisted to mean that God will not give us more than we can handle. I do not believe that is what the verse means though. The verse is talking about temptation not suffering. The point of the verse is that as followers of the Lord Jesus, we can never be tempted by something that is beyond the resources available to us to defeat. As a follower of Jesus, I can say no to sin. Temptation does not have to triumph. God does not allow me to be tempted in a manner that I have no choice but to give into the temptation. There is always a way out for us from temptation – God provide us that.

So what should we do about or with suffering? If I venture to say anything what should I say? When I am suffering is there any scriptural hope or promise that I should lean on? Or does God just let stuff happen? Does He just stand by and watch us or ignore us struggle? If God does not promise that we will never be given more than we can handle, what does He do?

In the midst of suffering God promises His people that He will be with us. Verses like Isaiah 41:10, 13, and 43:1-5 speak not of perfect or even good circumstances, but of God’s presence in ugly circumstances. And when God is present, He always brings his mercy and faithfulness (Lamentation 3:22-23).

For reasons that are hard to fathom, and probably we will not find a completely satisfying reason this side of eternity, God does not crush all of the ugliness of life yet – He will, but not yet. He is aware that we hurt and sometimes that hurt grows to be a huge mountain balancing on a fragile person. But what He does do is to promise His presence (Psalm 34:18).

I wish I could say more or offer more when we suffering. There is a degree of mysterious discomfort in suffering that is beyond intellectual processing. But in the midst of that God offers Himself to be with us in our sorrow and suffering. The suffering may go on, but God’s presence endures.  What God offers all of us this side of eternity is not a wonderful life, but a reconciled relationship with Him, a relationship in which He is present. That is what He offers each of us.