The following blog was written by my oldest son. He felt compelled to share these words about fathers.
For those of
you who have come to the Central within the last four years there is a good
chance that you know who I am from my dad’s sermon illustrations and stories
but let me introduce myself. I am Zach Grant and am the oldest son of Pastor
Lloyd, I spent three years as a Worship Ministries Major at Grace University in
Omaha, NE and am currently a Banking Law and Finance Major at the University of
Nebraska. Last July I married my beautiful wife Rachel.
The longer
that I live the more I realize how lucky I am to have been gifted by God with
the parents that I do have. Bloggers and writers have been talking about the
fatherhood crisis. For me it has become much more apparent and real than the
abstract crisis and figures that writers spout. This however, is not because of
the absence of my father, I am not writing this as a member of the generation
of absent fathers but as a member of the fatherless generation watching his
friends and peers suffer under the sins of the absent fathers. I write this as
a man who is tremendously blessed to have the father that I do but who is
greatly concerned for my friends.
It is a sad
truth that so many of my friends do not have positive memories of their father,
no memories of laughing around the kitchen table or learning to change the oil
in the car or learning to tie a tie or even being able to call dad and ask for
help on tomorrow’s assignment. Can any good come from the chasm left by a
distant or absent father? The absent father is not just the father who took off
with his mistress when his daughter was two; it is the cold, harsh man who
pushed his family away because of some past pain or the father too busy with
his career to see the way his wife and kids desperately want to know they are
loved by him. Too many men live in a house with their wife and children but
never seek to build a home and never desire to bring about feeling of family
that we each desire. When the children grow and become disinterested or
resentful of their father he reacts with surprise and anger, demanding the
respect that he deserves but his wife and kids have had enough of his
hypocritical lies.
Fathers
matter; dads matter. When we realize that people where made in the image of God
and that men and women are expressions of the character of God we can
understand how having both of these present is necessary for the growth of the
individual. We need the strength and leadership of the father and the loving
support of the mother.
Absent
fathers destroy the formation of masculinity in young men and reduce it to sex
and alcohol which creates broken marriages. Broken marriages create broken
homes. Broken homes create more absent fathers. Absent fathers only create more
absent fathers.
I am not
naïve enough to think that this does not happen inside the church and I hope
you are not either. I do not have a study to spout of to you with some
statistic but my experience living in the fatherless generation has taught me
otherwise, even within the confines of the church of the fatherless generation
I see the brokenness and pain.
Come back
men, you have a responsibility to fulfill. It does not matter if it was an
accident or a purposeful decision that you could not figure out how to handle,
you have a responsibility. For Father’s Day this year don’t get a new driver or
a GPS, instead reassume or take up for the first time the role of father and
give that gift to your wife and children and see if it doesn’t pay off.
Come Sunday
I know that few of my friends and peers will reminisce fond memories with their
dad like I will. I know the value of a good dad, who loves me, loves his wife,
and who lives his life in subjection to the authority of Christ and this is
something that I would wish for all but every day I see and interact with young
men and women who suffer because of absent fathers. Take back the role of
father; if you are out of the picture, get in it, if you are on the sidelines
get up and fight for your wives, fight for your children and fight for your
families. No marriage is too lost to save and no family to broken to heal. In
the fight for your families look to the Heavenly Father who lovingly fights for
you and me and who subjected Himself to frail, pathetic humanity so that we
could know Him and be his children.
